hey pplz, i dono where the hell everyone is man, but i needed to get this off my chest like fast, i didnt know who to talk to, some ppl u could talk to where always "brb" n they nvr bloody come back, some ppl u just cant talk to, some ppl dont understand, its all so confusing, i did talk to ppl which cheered me up and let go some of the down-side of me, but day after day new things come up and it just goes worst. This by far made me lower than you could possibly think… look at my position, im a drum/music fanatic. I love music and i crave for it, I love my drums too, i find that drums helps u to be more creative and it lets ur emotion goes, and so i have a band. "Alkie march" we call it, love the name, love my band. Now after that, im prolly young to say this but someone in my life would seem really important to me, someone who i can trust, sure there are friends, but friends go to a certain extend, once its past that extend they dont give a shyt abt u anymore. They dont care, they got other stuff to care abt. Im cool with that you know, i love my friends, nothing wrong with that, i just need someone where i can talk deeper and knows that she really cares abt my life…I can be straight i aint the "good-looking-est" guy in the world, hell i dont even think good lookin would even fit my name. but i just wish n pray u know… Okay then comes my passion, my love, my life, tennis. You all love your sports, you play them it around 4 then go home and thats it, thats not for me. I spend 4 hours a day busting my ass off in tennis, i busted my ass off to get into the national team, its "wow" when ur in it, but to keep ur postion is hard. Why am i telling u all this??? Why?? why jon??
hmm this is why, these 3 things that mean the most to me, have just collapsed. During this holiday, i’ve slowly lost my band, they all vanish, gone, im telling u before, we jam almost everyday, now we hardly, the heart and soul of the music in me is like fading away and it hurts to see how much you effort you put into vade. then came my tennis, my passion, i had a plan, i told myself "okay jon, u go to thailand for ur warm-up trip and when u go to indo, u play ur best" i wanted to prove myself, i 5 hours a day, 7 days a week, i train more than anybody on the team, i really wanted to go to indonesia and play, its not the first time i played for brunei, but i dono, i felt that this was it man, i could break through. I was soo excited and now, today 4 days before we leave, after i just came out of my down fall of the band, this came up, i got rejected and couldnt go to indonesia, why??? i played for brunei in 5 tournaments bring back 2 medals n they reject me… why?? cause i hold a fucking "red ic" i am a fucking P.R. and they wont fucking let me go, the fucking MOE (ministry of education) rejected me cause i was a fucking red ic. FUCK YOU man, seriously, you dono what its like busting ur ass 2 till 7 everyday, while some fat ass in the MOE just goes "nah, reject la" have no idea what its like, a dream being demolished, its crazy man, and thats not the worst part of it. When i started tennis, i started with my partner both at the same time, hes 16 coming 17 he has from now 2 years left before he becomes a senior ( until ur 18 ur considered a junior) and im 15 i got 3. i respect this guy like he’s my brother, i have traveled with him all the time, i known him so well, and to think that next year i would only have 1 year playing with him, makes me cry, it seriously does man…its like losing a brother man. its scary…and u may think a year is a long time, but a year is holds like 3 tournaments.. anyway i had to get this off my chest man, if u dont like what u read im sorry… im just so down right depress right now,
